My Dog Hates Dr. Seuss

What is crazier then a fish in a pot? Midgets in red jumpsuits with blue cotton candy for hair. How do you do? Would you like to shake hands with Thing One and Thing Two? No fucking thank you. Stop flying your kites, get back in your box, and get the fuck out of my house.

I'm not sure how this came about, but my dog ended up having a "Thing Two" toy. It smells like butt, and is freakier then hell. By now it has a blue buzz cut, and is missing an arm. Nonetheless, still creepy. As he was nothing less then short of decapitating this thing, it dawned on me. Don't kids love these characters? I mean, freaky as it is, its still a children's book character. Why do they make dog toys of them? Don't people *know* they are going to be mauled? Make dog toys of like... George Bush and Wayne Pacelle. Aren't these the people you want to see get their leg ripped off by your dog? Not a damn Dr. Seuss character. The world is really fucked up when you get pleasure out of seeing your dog assasinate creatures like Winnie the Pooh.